Hey sis!
Happy Valentine’s day 🥰 to you.
How’s it going?
Is someone’s son taking you out? Or you are spoiling yourself.
I received a message this morning I wasn’t expecting and yes it did give me butterflies in my belly.🥰 Don’t ask me who the sender was because I won’t tell you. Haha
Today, I have here with me Mrs. Elikplim Yirenkyi-Asare, an administrator and a writer.
Me: Mrs. Yirenkyi-Asare, you’re welcome.
Eli: Thank you for having me.
Me: Our FOCUS for this month is LOVE and our theme is The Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord.
And today, we are looking at how the intentional lady can be intentional about her relationship with her Lover🥰.
But before we get into it, I’m sure every lady transitions from single hood to dating and then marriage.
So how and when did you realize you were ready to enter a relationship?
Eli: Interesting question😄 I’m really usually amazed how it all happened. I remember when people asked when I was going to get married, I used to tell them “anytime God wants me to”
Basically, I desired and believed in God’s timing.
Me: You said you were amazed how it all happened. Would you like to fill us in?
Eli: First of all, I had no idea I was going to get married in 2020. We were friends since University, I mean mere friends (I wasn’t looking at his side at all, you know what that is 🤣)
Then we became closer in 2018, I was like what, really? I tried to fight it so hard. 🤣 But then I prayed to God to give me a sign to prove he is the one. Then it happened exactly how I prayed🥰
I believe we can know and seek the mind of God about the weirdest things.
Me: Wow 🤩 I believe too.
You mentioned that when you guys became closer, you were fighting it so hard. Why, though?
Eli: Lol 😂 I was scared basically because I knew he is a pastor and I never wanted to marry one. 🤦🏾 I thought he would be boring and too serious owing to the fact that I can disturb for a living🤣 (a whole talent).
Aside that I was scared of what I’ve heard about men 🤦🏾 I really didn’t want to admit that I like him.
Me: Awwww🥰 That talent yeah, we can’t waste it o😃😃
Eli: You know 😃
Me: You said you never wanted to marry a pastor.
What changed? How did you end up marrying one?
Eli: Because I sought God and He had greater purpose for me than I thought.
And oh he isn’t boring 😄
Me: I see. Dear men of God, we beg you don’t be boring😄
Having someone in your life might be different from being single. Were there any adjustments you had to make in your life when you entered a relationship? (Routines, mindsets, schedule, etc?)
Eli: Definitely, but it was quite easy because we were of one mind. He affirmed and protected the standards and boundaries I had. We had to make time for each other although we all had busy schedules.
Me: Boundaries, mmmm🤗
Could you please share some of these boundaries and how important they are?
I’m asking for the single sisters here😀
Eli: 😆 Most of the boundaries were about our walk with God. We believed in sex after marriage so we decided not to be alone in a room especially when there is no one in the building because the presence of others indirectly prevent you from engaging in any sexual activity.
We had a Bible reading plan and reminded ourselves to read and share with ourselves daily.
We also decided not to sit on each others laps 😄
Me: Yeeey😀 I like this one
Aside from having boundaries, what other intentional steps did you take to make your relationship work?
Eli: I learned and read that building a relationship requires intentionality, you have to make up your mind to make it work.
Communication was a major key, we decided to express ourselves and talk about issues right away. I remember we agreed not to get angry at each other 😄
We read enough to understand God’s intended purpose for marriage and the role we have to play to make it come to pass. We also read books and discussed them.
We saw everything in the light of marriage because that was the goal. So we were basically rehearsing marriage lolx
Me: Interesting! Rehearsal, I see 😃. So you never got angry at each other?
Eli: We did though. But that goal served as a check on us.
Me: I like that you mentioned how much you learned and read about relationships and even had book dates.
You know, there are people who don’t see the need to read or learn about relationships and marriage.
Can you emphasize how crucial that is, and how it helped in your own situation?
Eli: The need to read is very essential in everyday life. As exercise is to the body, reading is to the mind. Reading broadens your mind, it influences your thinking and actions. Marriage was scary to me in the beginning, imagine going to stay with someone for the rest of your life, I mean how ?😄
But then reading killed that fear, especially reading the Bible and making it practical. Look at Isaac, Abraham gave him a wife from his hometown, he hardly knew Rebecca but they got married the very minute he set his eyes on her (now that’s weird). 🤣
Me: Is there any book on relationship/marriage you would recommend?
Eli: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Model Marriage by Bishop Dag Heward-Mills
Me: For a lady who has been single for a long time and is getting used to being single but deep inside her she wants to get married one day.
What advice do you have for her?
Eli: Well, I believe taking it to prayer is the very first step, pray about everything you want, don’t take it for granted. Secondly, believe and stay positive then read, read, read and see the amazing thing God will do.
Me: Mmmm🤗. After almost 2 years of marriage and a child, what’s keeping the spark in your marriage?
Eli: This one😆 I love to be spontaneous, my husband is spontaneous as well. I have decided to have fun and take it a day at a time, no hiding of emotions.
One thing my husband has taught me is to let go of the things I can’t change and enjoy the moment.
Me: Has the birth of your child affected your relationship with your husband?
If yes, how are you dealing with it?
Eli: I actually thought it would affect it negatively but I think it’s been positive so far. For instance, I get to admire him a lot when he is playing with the baby 🥰 we still find time to play, laugh and have fun. He has been very supportive, I guess that’s a blessing.
Me: A great blessing indeed. For those of you who watch my whatsapp status, you realize that I normally post quotes from one Elikplim, this is the same Elikplim I’m interviewing today.
I love how consistent you are with the quotes.
What motivated you to start?
And what has kept you going all these years?
What should we expect in the future?🤗
Eli: Well my first motivation is the idea to share my thoughts and musings, probably it might be of help to someone.
Second motivation is my husband, sincerely sometimes I feel like stopping🌚 But he keeps encouraging me to continue.
For tomorrow and beyond, I hope to gather people across the globe to inspire and transform minds.
Me: That’s great. A supportive husband. Hey sis, hope you heard that.
What do you have to say to the single sis out there who’s believing in God for a partner?
What should she be intentional about now?
Eli: Be intentional about serving God genuinely and loving genuinely. I believe God gives us what we are really ready and prepared for.
Me: Eliiiiiii🥰. Dear reader, just so you know. It was this woman right here who got me excited about weddings and marriage🥰. That’s a story for another day.
Thank you so much. This was fun and very educative as well. I have gotten so much value.
Eli: Barrrrrbbbbs! This was a great idea and I’m really honored you invited me.
If you read all the way down here, sis, you are the real deal. I appreciate your taking time to read.
The next post is going to be amazing. Watch out!
In the meantime, drop one thing you learnt today in the comments.
It’s the “not sitting on each other’s laps” for me oo😅
Old sayings never lie; great minds indeed think alike. It’s not surprising to see my natural hair coach (host) and my secret role model (guest) come up with this awesome piece. Fantastic, ladies!
hahaha. Thank you Vera. The laps sitting is a danger zone o. lolx
That was Inspiring. I’ve learnt to be prayerful and God-driven.
Thank you for reading
How can I possibly not love Eli? She’s so loving and keep inspiring me everyday 🥰🥰…love lives right here🥰
Love indeed lives here.❤️ Thank you for reading Charlotte
Wow! I have a similar story about how she met her hubby. LoL. Great interview, I have been imparted. God bless you Barbs
Amen. Thanks for reading.
Interesting piece. God bless you and your home guest.. and the Lord bless you host and your work.
I’ve learnt to pray about everything.
Indeed Prayer has always been and will continue to be the key.
Amen 🙏. Thank you for reading King Jay.
Ooooow Mrs Yirenkyi-Asare. Thank you for sharing sis.
Thank you for reading, Debby
I like the fact that you guys kept reading to know more about relationship and marriage. That’s great
Readers are leaders, Thank you for reading Jessica.
This is amazing. I’m really enjoying it. Kudus to you and Mrs(your guest)
Thanks Ayisha for reading
Wooooowwwwwww♥️
Being intentional is key here
The God lady❤️🙏🤸🏼♂️
Thank you for reading Gloria
I enjoyed reading this and I have learnt something from this interview.
God should be the first person to seek in all areas of your life. I’ve learnt to be intentional about every thing including my relationship.
Thank you Barbara.
It’s always a pleasure to serve you. Thank you for reading my Nigeria jollof.
Boundaries are important. No one is above temptation even Pastors 🙂
Not even Pastors. Very true. Thank you for emphasizing that
This is so inspirational and refreshing to read. God is indeed pivotal in every successful relationship marriage. Thanks for stressing that Eli. You can’t operate and succeed in anything without going the owner’s way… God is the source of Marriage and anyone desiring to enter it must not leave Him out. Great work Barbs.
Thank you ma. Married women in the house
God gives us what we’re ready and prepared for!
Rather than being anxious, I choose to stay calm, pray and read!read!!read!!!
You got the point. Thanks for reading
Thank you for your sharing. I am worried that I lack creative ideas. It is your article that makes me full of hope. Thank you. But, I have a question, can you help me?
Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.
Your point of view caught my eye and was very interesting. Thanks. I have a question for you.
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